My Brain is like mush today.

OK so I am currently sitting at my desk at work and I am struggling not to fall asleep. Seriously I am sooooo freaking tired it is unbelievable. It’s only Tuesday ahhhhhh, still 3 more days to go after this until the weekend, although it is 2 weeks today till my last day at work until my trip to France wooopppeeee .

Seriously I am dozing off here, I’ve had a redbull drink thing and now I am drinking coffee and nothing seems to make me feel less like I am going to pass out/fall asleep where I sit.

The weekend was great fun, did the Brighton thing on the Saturday with Sarah and then met John Barrowman on the Sunday with Cat! He was quite the character, he told Cat her liked her pussy (she was wearing a cat t-shirt) and then spent the time he was signing my book screaming and laughing at his own joke ahha…. Hi sister was super nice too and I got asked lots of questions about my name as usual (I really don’t see Toria being that bizarre of a name?)

I am being a freaking weirdo again and I just cannot pick what to wear. I can’t seem to pick between a black hoody or a purple one. I know the purple one looks better yet I can’t seem to give up the black one, but what would make sense is if I liked both of them to just wear both of them as and when I want. That would make the most amount of sense, but apparently my brain won’t work like that. 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….. I keep going back and forth in my head and my head is going WHO CARES….. but does care and I have no idea why I get like this about what I wear. It just doesn’t make any fucking sense. I am insane, or I clearly have a screw lose somewhere.

Anyway the weight loss thing isn’t great at this week as I bought 3 Dominos pizzas over the weekend that me and Matt ate. I couldn’t seem to help myself they are just so yummy and so cheap ahhhhh! Hopefully I get to 208lbs or below before I go to France. It’s only 4-6lbs to go and I have two weeks today….

Today is generally stressful and I’m knackered and STARVING! 

BEAUTIFUL sunny day in Brighton

Ok so me and the sister (Sarah) went to Brighton today. I had planned on doing very little to nothing to relax and recover from the working week, buts Sarah talked me into to going to Brighton and it wa actually relaxing! We just played on the pier, had a milkshake and went on a water ride. I won a Panda bear woooo! Then we chilled out on the beach and paddled in the sea which was freezing and painful on the pebbles. Sarah also had a sketch thing done of us which she failed to look at the camera in any of the photos its was very funny and my hair is so light it didn't draw the top of my head ehehe.

So tomorrow Cat is coming here around 10:15ish and we are heading to Blue Water to meet John Barrowman and his sister at a TorchWood book signing weeeeeeeeeee! It's exciting!

I also picked up this really nice purple hoody. Its a really nice colour! Ended up going to TopMan as the colours they did were soooo much nicer than TopShop and they came up muh longer too!! WOOO. Might get a Grey one too! Maybe.

I managed to give myself a panic attack at work on Friday too. That was super embarrassing D:

I thought I was going to be sick a I've had a tummy ache for the last few days.... and I have a phobia since I was a kid of being sick and I just freaked out a little :(

I hope it doesn't make people think i'm stooopid. :( anyhooo I feel so silly now! 

Anyhoo that is all for today soo byes xx

Nearly Friday woooopaa

Today is quite a long day! There’s not that much to do at work today, I’m mostly working on the works I needed to edit. It’s gone 2:30pm now soo there is only like 2 and a half hours left….. ok that seems quite long now! I’m going to go home and eat lasagne yum yum, healthy choices one of course but it still tastes super yummy! Then me and Matt are going to head into Croydon and have a wonder around and vist Primark. I really want a new bag. I do not need one but I want one that will be more comfy and go with what I wear. I don’t need one but I don’t seem to like any of the ones that I own. Booo. It depends if I can find a cheapy one!

I’m getting super excited for France now and my birthday. I can’t pick between two pairs of Vans I like!!

The black ones are nice but I do wear a lot of black so I may go for the Grey ones as I LOVE LOVE LOVE the colours of those ones! 

They are both super cute though. Maybe I should get both bwahahaha.

Anyhooo I hope I find something in Croydon!

Byesie

I never update. I am going to try and change this!

I have been very lucky in securing myself a job here as a graphic designer. I say securing, but I haven’t I don’t actually know why I put that. Ahhh well. I am hoping that it will turn into something full time as I do really need the money. If I get to keep this job it will secure me for quite a while and will mean I can start to enjoy life a little more and stop obsessing over money all the time.

I am very proud of myself. I was diagnosed with serve dyslexia almost 5 years ago now when I started Uni at Epsom and I have made my way through life all on my own with little to no help other than support from family and friends. I managed to get myself a National Diploma, Foundation Degree and a Degree and all of them are average or above grades which I am proud of considering how much I can struggle and how lazy I am.

I wish so much I could go back to Uni though. I mean it is nice having money and the like. but I miss the freedom the socialising and not being a full adult quite yet. Doing all day Monday to Friday still scares me. I want to have more time to myself, at the moment I wonder what the point of life is, if you spend 5 days a week sat in an office doing work that you don’t particularly want to do. Then I think it’s actually only 7.5 hours or 8.5 hours if you include lunch out of 24 hours. That leaves 15.5 hours of the day so I guess it’s not that bad. I should spend 8.5 hours at work and 8 hours sleeping and 7.5 hours socialising or doing what I want. Although that’s not including almost 2 hours of the day I throw away on driving to and from work. UGH! It’s scary to know that my life isn’t really that fun anymore.

On the plus side though, I have money now. I can buy things that I want and I can do things that I want (when I get time anyway :/) I guess now I can start to pay off my mountain of a debts and look at the possibility of getting a flat for me and Matt.

I got myself some LOVELY VANS the other day, they are the Hello Kitty ones and I want to wear them all day everyday!

I've also lost 3lbs this week which is great as I wanted to lose at least before the 8th of October, or before the 3rd really as that is when me and Matt are off to France, and then we come back on the 7th and my birthday is on the 8th.

They are so PRETTY! I think I am going to ask for another pair (a grey pair) for my birthday they are that comfy! It's annoying as the colour I have picked seems to be sold out almost everywhere but I found a shop on eBay even though they are £10 more boooo.

Anyway I shall end this here and I will just say it is an hour till Lunch and I CANNOT WAIT AS I AM STARVING HUNGRY! 

Byes

This month has been a crazy one!

Ok so I haven't updated in a while and I need to change that! Here goes....

I GOT A JOB AND I GRADUATED!!!

I have a degree AND A JOB as a graphic designer! woopa woopa!

OH AND I ATTENDED COMIC CON!

So lets have some photos!

SO first came the Graduation...

The whole day was very cool. It was held in Guildford Cathedral and it was beautiful. The weather was pretty shit all day but it only rained towards the end! It was sad knowing there were many people I would never see again but also I felt so proud that I had done that considering all through my school life I was told I would never do anything good with my life!

I then on the Friday got a phone call about a possible job, that was exciting!

Then on Sunday Comic Con came. It was my first con and it was SOO FREAKING AMAZING!

SO that was sooo amazing! I meet Chris Judge, dressed as Teal'c and Ben Browder looking like a hobo >.<

Then I got an autograph with Kevin Sorbo. I was a little disappointed with my pictures as I look pretty bad in them, problem was I was pretty nervous and knowing you are having your photo taken made me freeze up a bit ahah!

When attended two talks. The Adam Baldwin and Jewel Staite (firefly) talk and there was a free Ben Browder talk and that tbh was the highlight of the day! He was such a great guy and really down to earth.!!

  It really was amazing day and I'm hoping to attend some more in the autumn! The stalls there were awesome too! Got a cool star trek necklace, and some really cool badges (although I lost my smeg head one the nest day boo ): )

Then on the Monday (I had been up at 6am for comic con and then up at 7am on Monday) I went to Nottingham and went to my best friend's hen party!

I had a really nice time while I was there, it was a shame I could only afford to go my coach, because that was HELLISH! and then I got an awful cold when I was back.

I had amazing cocktails which included a Jellybeantini and a Toblarone Martini. They were delicious! We also went to a place called Annie's to eat and that was full of many noms!

Then I got back and recovered for a few days and got a phone call that Friday about the job I heard from the previous Friday for an interview that Monday. Then on Monday at that interview I got another interview for a design company. I however didn't get the second job. But I have been offered the first job as the Graphic Designer in the company and I start this Wednesday! eeek! It's only temporary at the moment but they really hope to but it permanent, so fingers crossed! It's 18k a year too which is crazy when I earn 4k a year ahahah!!! 

So yeah my July has been CRAZY! Loads of amazing and cool things have happened and I am actually a working professional now!

I think that is all for now!! :D

All ready for a job now.

Ok so I've applied for like 60+ jobs recently. Even admin jobs as I have a new life plan which I will discus in a minute. I was laying in bed and thought I hope I get an interview then I realised that I own NOTHING that would be suitable to wear to an interview or new job or anything. It wasn't a case OMGZZZ I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR, when in actual fact I do, I just don't want to war any of, I literally had nothing. See I've been a student all my adult life (its short so far about 3-4 years) but I've never had a need for smart clothes. SO all I own is Hell Bunny dresses, cute kitschy patterned skirts with owls, mushrooms, star etc on them, LOADS of hoodies and some awesome T-Shirts.

So poor Matt came with me and we spent 4 hours shopping for something. I was originally shopping for a circle skirt and blazer maybe. I didn't really know. I felt like all my personality was being sucked out of me by wearing plain boring clothes. I hated them all. Then I though what about a dress rather than a two piece? 

Then I found this little bird dress in Primark for £13 and it looked perfect.

The pattern is so cute the little love birds are adorable. I feel like it still shows a bit of 'me' but I look smart and professional. I felt so old and frumpy in long skirts and pencil skirts didn't suit me as I have big hips and bum and I don't like them. The only skirt I could find was a jersey one but that didn't go with the blazers except jersey blazers and that looked and felt awful together.

I'm so pleased with what I got. I'm not very good at shopping for these things as I'm a bit weird and I've never been good with 'fashion' so it was hard to find something that looked this smart. But I think I did a good job.!

My eBay dress came yesterday too. I'm SO SO happy with it and the seller was great. I won it Monday evening and it was posted Tuesday morning first class, and it arrived Wednesday morning. I love it a lot. I was put off getting it a little bit because the fact it was white. This worried me a little bit because I pretty clumsy and I spill a lot of things, so I fear it may get dirty, but I will just be careful!

Please excuse the awful face and pose but yeah that is all for now folks.

No longer a student!

So I am no longer a student. There for I'm now just horribly in debt and hunting left right and center for a job. I applied for over 34 today, I was just whacking them out even though I didn't now what I was really applying for lol.

Comic Con is on in a couple of weeks. I'm so very happy.

I'm hoping to get my photo taken with these guys. I'm obsessed with Farscape at the moment and Christopher Judge is going to be in full costume on the Sunday. I'm kinda nervous about meeting them though aahah.

I have been naughty and collecting some more Hell Bunny dresses since I lasted posted. I love the dresses so much, they fit so well and are exceptionally cute and have such nice patterns on them

I won this one today on ebay.

I also bought this from Brighton as it was so sweet. And also the heart dress too. I just can't help myself. I'm very naughty! >.<

I completed my end of year show where I displayed my book. There is a photo below with me and my book that you can read on my website toriaheath.co.uk

I had to go up there rather a lot in one week and it pooped me out completely I was soo tired. It was cool though got myself in the paper for the event and what not. Now I'm just waiting for my final degree marks.

And finally I wanted to share this. An illustration I did of myself.

 Thats all for today. I will try and write more often, I have to go to work tomorrow. Booooo. Been working all week but I will be on again much sooner.