So every week I pop off to the cinema with my Cineworld Unlimited card with my boyfriend. I have decided to try and write a review of the films I see as I have seen so many over the last year with my card!

So this Saturday we went and saw Ex Machina. To be honest I wasn't sure what to expect. I felt like the trailer made it seem quite surreal and weird.

I was partly right. The film is full of twists and turns all through from the start to the end. It keeps you focused and is really quite enjoyable, but does require your attention to watch. It is a more heavy film, so not for you if you are in a ‘let’s watch something light hearted and fun’.

I did really enjoy it; the atmosphere gives a feeling of danger and keeps you on your toes. Throughout the whole story you know something isn't right and something bad is afoot.

It starts with a young coder (Caleb) who wins a competition to go and spend time in a completely secluded woodland area with the Nathan (an excelled programmer himself) who owns the company Caleb works for. He is thrown right in and Nathan shows and explains that he has been working breakthrough experiment and as built a female A.I. who has human qualities and Caleb is now part of this experiment.

The film is gripping at times and always trying to keep you guessing, with several twists and turns in the story. I thought it was exciting to watch and the CGI 

and artwork in the film with flawless and breath-taking.

The acting was great; you got to know the characters straight off, which helped with the build-up of tension and suspense. The characters were believable and a good balance of good vs evil.

I would recommend this film if you enjoy sci-fi and futuristic films. It keeps you glued to the screen and keeps you thinking and guessing.You will leave full of questions and a great discussion point with people who have seen it too! 

I would give it 4 stars out of 5. I feel the ending perhaps let it down a little. With all the build-up, it wasn't what I was expecting and I personally didn’t like it as much as the rest of the film! But it will be a bit of a shock to you!

Next week I should be off to see Mortdecai!

Have a fab week

January blues!

So January blues are 110% in now.! I am feeling very meh.. The joy of Christmas is long gone and January is taking SOO long to get through. Not to mention i'm not 100% well at the moment. Its an annoying problem that I suffered from a lot at Uni and I haven't had it in about 6 years or so. I thought the issue was in my head but apparently not so I spent 2-4 weeks suffering and last week it got too much and I went to the doctors and I now have antibiotics. However I can't actually tell if it is getting any better which is super frustrating. With the first week of January being such a massive downer and then this week not being 100% well I have failed with the eating well and losing the weight that I put on.... It isn't good excuses but January's are just terrible.

On to more upbeat things I am trying so hard to focus on at the moment, and that is moving house! We are months away from moving out now. In March me and Matt will celebrate our 9 year anniversary! NINE FREAKING YEARS.... Holy heck I can't even tell you where the time has gone. 

A year or so ago Matt got us a Kettle and Toaster and also a Microwave with some points from work, so we knew we wanted a purple theme. Last weekend we went shopping for house bits. We got plates, glasses, a chopping board and towels from Wilksons. We have a real theme coming along and we also were offered a sofa from a friend at work and a hoover from my Grandma :D

So last weekend got me even more excited about moving! 

I love the theme we have going along here, and so far we have most of the basics. Perhaps a we would also like to get a new duvet soon too and some house bits to make it more like home.

By March I should have enough money to pay off the last of my debt! Then hopefully within 2 months we will have enough saved for a deposit and to move out! It is very exciting now and I really hope by June/July we should look at moving into our first place together! 

So I am very much saving saving saving at the moment, which means no spending money on things we don't need. We waste a lot on food and such at times, and also on days out shopping or other places due to boredom. However it my wish list of things I would like to get isn't much smaller haha!

Although i am avoiding online shopping at the moment, and some of these have been on my list for a while now.

1. Dr Who Scarf 

2. Hell Bunny Dress (not available yet) 

3.Chameleon Necklace  

4. Into the woods Disaster design bag

 5. Turtle Tee T-shirt

 6. Voodoo Vixen dress 

7. Louche Coat

I may order the t-shirt as I do have some Christmas money left over, and I also may order the Hell Bunny dress too when it comes out because how could I not!! 

But all the rest will stay on my wish list. It is scary to think but my birthday will come around soon enough! EEEP! My spending is really improved so much, it is so much easier to save when we are so close to moving! Now I just remind myself that I really don't need it and it isn't hard to leave behind!

Lets hope the next 6 months fly by and I will be cozy in my new flat witting up a post about it all!

2015 and what i hope it will bring!

2015 is now here properly! We are 5 days in and I am back at work much to my dismay!

Although part of me wishes I could rewind time by 3 weeks and it would be the 15^th December, my 16 days off would be coming up and Christmas would still be here and the room wouldn’t feel so naked without the decorations and lights! I am however excited to move forward into this year because I think this year will be a BIG BIG year or change.

I saw this image earlier and it really stood out to me. 2013 was my first year of working, 2014 was the year where I started to get my shit together. I started to plan for the future and I started to save money and then 2015 will be the year I pay off my debt and start some savings and the year where I move out and get my own space and I really cannot wait!

I haven’t really got any resolutions this year. Usually every year it is lose weight lose weight, but I hit well below my target weight back in November so what I want is to maintain my weight and keep at the gym.

The main things I want to work on are:

Loving myself. 

My confidence is non-existent. I still feel exactly as I did 2 years ago before I lost weight. I put myself down and hold myself back because I feel down about my appearance. I don’t like photos of myself because I look so much smaller in them than what I see in the mirror. And this is sad and not right and I need to work on this mentally. I want to just be happy…. I want to just feel like a million dollars every day and I know it will be hard because I got confidence boosts from losing weight. Now I need to find it within myself.

Working on my design work

I want to work on some new designs and get perhaps some more greetings card made up and sold. This is something I want to work on but there are a few bigger things I want to concentrate on this year and that I will have to save my money up for!

Debt, 

this is my next big one. I have paid off around £6,000 last year and a bit the year before. I have just over £3,000 to go and I already have about a quarter to towards this! Once we have paid all this off we will be on track to moving out, which is my next big thing.

Having my own home!

We have been working on moving out for the last few years and 2014 we were really focused. We can afford to move but I want to do it debt free so I am going to pay all my debt off and save enough money to pay for my deposit. I have started collecting bits in the sales (bought all my Christmas decorations haha priorities first huh?).

So I am excited for this year to move forward and I can’t wait to spend next Christmas in my own place! Just me and Matt.

I hope 2015 is full of joy for everyone and I hope it is the year for me and Matt!

Good bye 2014! And a Happy New Year

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, I did even though it was very different!

I haven't been very good with updating this blog in the last half a year! Work has been exceptionally busy and after my Grandpa passing away I don't think I have been much in the mood!

But as I have had rather a lot of time off over Christmas 

(still have 4 more days off woohoo) I thought I would sum up 2014!

This year has had some amazing parts & some shitty parts.Thinking about the amazing parts though!

I have the wardrobe I had dreamed of for such a long time. As I have written before I have never had the confidence to wear what I wanted and I have always felt quite restricted. This year I think was the year I really really changed. I've been really sticking to this since August 2013, and this summer with the gym and healthy eating i pushed myself past my goal weight and I am really proud of myself!

I have made some great friends at work, and I have actually enjoyed my job this year! My first job as a graphic designer I took so I could get experience, lets face it, in no way can you be picky if someone offers you a paid Graphic Design job the minute you leave Uni. It worked in my favor as I really do like my job now and all the people I work with. I have really enjoyed the last month with the Christmas Spirit, Elektra Awards and Christmas party.!

One thing I did which I was really pleased about was selling my designs. At the beginning of the year I had some necklaces made up and they were a bit of a flop. But this Christmas I had my Christmas design printed and I sold over 100 in a week! I was super pleased with myself and this year I think I will invest more in the greeting cards side of things!

I have been so excited though about Christmas coming around this year!

I booked a trip away (1 night) to LongLeat. It was just in a travel lodge and to see the festival of lights, I got an amazing deal on Tesco for Longleat and the hotel was super cheap as I booked it back in September!

The rest of the post is pretty image heavy so see below to continue reading!

The perfect dress

I found the perfect dress. I really did and I am so pleased with it! I wanted to get something perfect for my Grandpa’s funeral. I wanted it to be something that he would of gone, ‘yes I like that a lot!’

I have black clothes, but all of them have been for work and although I have a few smart dresses (all have patterns on of some sort) it just didn’t feel special enough… All the items that would have been ok to wear I only own because I had to get them for work so I never really liked any of them like I do my own clothes.

So I ordered a dress online and I wasn’t blown away by it… Matt suggested we went and had a look so last Friday after work, very reluctantly as I was exhausted we headed off to Lakeside. I actually ended up having a lovely evening. It was one of those shopping trips that ended up being really productive and satisfying and I kind of wish we could do it again tonight but there would just be no point.

I got some cardi’s from Forever 21, upon getting home I realised the black one was much shorter than the other two I got and was a little bummed out about that, then I also realised my blue had a hole in it at work on that Friday so I thought ohh good both of those can go back.

We also tried the new KFC pulled chicken burger. It wasn’t great.

We had a long mooch around forever 21, but that shop is just not made for people of my height. Then we came out of there and Matt convinced me to go to House of Fraser, even though I insisted I  couldn’t afford it! At the back as I almost gave up in there we spied a Yumi section (I do love Yumi dresses) I had spotted a Yumi dress online but it was £50 alas…. It was only £48 in store and then Matt found a card that said 20% off for students! Yay having my sisters student card! So I tried it on and I have to say it was perfect. Its not plain but the detailing on it is subtle and is just so elegant and feels lovely and feels like a dress my Grandpa would be proud of. We ended up getting it for £38, which although was more that I wanted to spend as I am trying to save up, it was worth every penny.

(please excuse the glum bum face)

I just thought it was gorgeous, and I am so glad Matt made me get it! I am dreading Tuesday no and at the same time looking forward to it being over with. The idea that it will all be very final and real upsets me but it must be done and at least I will feel  like my Grandpa would be proud of me!

I’m going to pair it with my TUK heels and a little black bag so hopefully I will look the business!

At least it is the weekend now, because I feel like I need to sleep I am do drained at the moment!

On a more exciting note, I have finally reached my ultimate goal! I have lost exactly 6stone altogether and 4 stone since I started myfitnesspal! I’m now done with my diet and im going to start to find a routine to maintain this weight! I’m proud of myself and this also doesn’t really feel real but fingers crossed I can keep as this weight!

My weird relationship with coats.

I’m going to write a more cheery post today. The funeral is booked for 16^th September so a week on Tuesday. I feel very much like I am in a limbo type place. Not really sad, because I haven’t said goodbye yet but not quite right as I know the time to say goodbye is coming.

But I thought I would do a little post update anyhow. So I wanted to share my new coat. I have a real issue with coats. Last year I bought 3 D:

THREE coats it was ridiculous. The problem was is I rushed in a bought one that didn’t fit that great; I then rushed in again and bought another one I wasn’t 100% sure about. These were mistakes as, as I have learnt I should only buy something if I am 110% happy with it and how it fits. I then bought one from ASOS in January, again I was never 110% sure although this fitted well the material ended up being very uncomfortable, there was also no fur on the hood which is something I really wanted and it was probably a little too big as when I tried it on again this year it I am swimming in it.

Actually it was technically 4 coats ahah, but I got a really fancy Hell Bunny coat for my birthday but this is a special fancy going out coat which I plan on making sure I wear much more this winter!

Anyhow, I was going to try and make do but then I saw one in topshop and just fell in love. I decided to get it as a birthday gift. This was back at the beginning on August and as it was selling out in a size 14 quite quickly from what I saw I picked one up and popped it on my credit card and it has sat in my room for now just in case I spied a better one when the autumn winter clothes were realised.

I popped to pick up a dress I had ordered from new look for the funeral and on my way in a spied another coat that caught my attention. I thought no no I won’t try this one I have mine, its much nicer but then I though ahh maybe I’ll have a quick look. I put it on and the fit was just perfect, it made me realise that perhaps the topshop one may not fit as well as I would of liked. It zips up rather than big buttons at the top so I have more breathing room in it and an option to unzip it slightly I get too hot. The fur is very impressive (although not as nice as the topshop coat). I decided to buy it take it home and compared it. On first glance I thought no, no the topshop one is much much nicer, and I still feel this way on first look when it’s on a hanger, but then when I put it on the New Look one just looked so much nicer. It hangs nicely much more fitted and complementing, it’s longer and the zip feature is great much better and more comfortable than buttons that only do up round my neck. Much as I adore the topshop one I thought, no, I have to go with the more comfortable one because that really does make or break it for me, and I DO NOT want to end up not wearing it again. The other thing that played at the back of my head was that it wouldn’t look so great with hoodys and more casual looks whereas this other one I think would go nicely with dresses and hoodys and even my PJ bottoms when I go to tesco :p

SO the first coat is going back. I feel like this is meant to be as I only have a few more days left to return the first one!

Anyway that was very long winded but I am very excited to wear my coat now, and I’m welcoming the cooler weather (after my birthday as I can’t have it until then)

Excuse the terrible photos!

TopShop Coat

New Look Coat

And then I also found a little gem on Saturday. We popped into Redhil so I could get a vest top. Walking past a shop called Street Talk I spied a dress in the window. Now street talk was where I bought my angry grunger stuff when I was a teenager so I was surprised to be buying something so delicate and lovely in there. I went in found it and tried it on. Little disappoint there was only a S/M but thought it looked like quite a large small medium so I tried it on and it fitted like a glove. It very quickly came home with me! I know what I will be wearing when I go the weekend before France. As you can see it is covered in little birds and palm trees!

Anyway coat caffle done with, I am now very happy and I am also very glad it is Friday!

My Grandpa.

I am going to attempt to write this post in one sitting, but we shall see how it goes I guess.

On the bank holiday weekend my Grandpa was taken into hospital with internal bleeding. He was been pretty ill now for over 2 years. Things seemed quite dire at one point and there was talk of serious ops and all sorts. Being the medical mystery my Grandpa is he managed to get better and on the following Saturday (less than a week after he went in) he came home with recovery on the horizon. I didn’t worry too much as I know he is a strong man and he just wanted to get home!

However this Sunday I woke up to a phone call from my mum. He had passed away that morning after he came home. By the sounds of it, it was exceptionally quick and I am just happy he got to go home and have his pipe and his beer. He got to spend the night watching countdown with my Grandma and he was at home, his home he had lived at for I believe almost 40 years.

My Grandpa was a very kind man, he was also exceptionally smart I always used to tell people that he was the most intelligent person I knew and I looked up to him a lot. He had a naughty sense of humour and every time you gave him a kiss hello or goodbye you got bristles scratching your face and a damp cheek from where he smoked his pipe something I will dearly miss. I have so many fond memories of him as he was such a character he did things his own way I know that when the pain of losing him eases when we are together as a family there will be hours of laughter when we remember back to some of the eccentric stories we have of him.

I have never lost a close relative, and the feeling is just as bad if not worse than I had imagined. The last two days I have been very teary going from getting on with life and then have a good weep or sob. Today I am exhausted and I don’t think I would even have the energy to cry anymore, which scares me as it’s only been 3 days since he has passed. If I feel this awful now how will I feel in two weeks’ time?

My Grandma is very much in my mind at the moment. She is being looked after and supported by the family, but she has lost her world really. Almost 65 years they were together, and I loved to watch them banter and talk. You could always see this love between them that never faded ever even when my Grandpa was winding people up with his teasing!

So I’ll end it with Rest in Peace Grandpa. I want you to know that I am grateful you were in my life as I grew up and I always admired you and looked up to you. You will always be the big strong exceptionally intelligent man I remember and I will continue to tell people about you proudly as I feel sorry that they never got to know you. It will never be the same without you ever. But thank you for the love and all the generosity that you gave and I hope that one day I will see you again.

Love Toria