New home! What a week.

So we are in and it has been considerably more stressful than I thought it would of been.

Friday I packed up at work, headed down with Lisa to my Dad's work and picked up the sofa Lisa very kindly donated to us!

I then came home and headed to Ikea for their sale but to be honest that was quite disappointing and then we were up till late packing all the last things and getting the last bits of furniture downstairs. We got to bed around 1am but I barely slept. It was like we had waited so long and then boom that was it, the room was almost empty and we were about to leave! I really didn't sleep much and was clock watching until my alarm went off, I was up and ready before 8am. We headed straight for Redhill where we enjoyed a very nice Mccy d’s breakfast and then went to the estate agents.

We from there went to the flat and meet the lady doing the itinerary, she should us around and pointed out all marks or anything that was replaced and we took a look around and zoomed off home where I picked up my Dad and we started to load the van up. The flat was nicer than I remembered and the new carpet was great. They had linoed the bathroom which was preferred above carpet and the carpet was a lovely brown colour really soft and inviting. It is amazing once it was empty how much more potential and modern it looked without the previous persons stuff in there!

Didn't take too long to load the van but we didn't fit it all in, in one go. My Mum meet us as we headed over to the flat and I went with my Mum and Matt in the van with my Dad and we started moving in. They both really liked the place. We got everything in quite quickly and then headed back to Matt's mum's house to get the last bits there, pick up Debbie and then to my Grans to pack up the last bits. We all stopped for tea and biscuits as now it was well after lunch time and no one had, had lunch. THEN it was back in the vans and cars and one final trip. 

We started unloading everything again and this time the valuables came in, it was unpleasant carrying the expensive equipment from the cars to the flat. Then I made a cup of tea for everyone and my Mum and Dad headed off to return the van and Debbie stayed washing all the kitchen stuff up while me and Matt started to arrange furniture. 

The first few days we didn't eat when we should of and days kind of blurred into each other. Tuesday I think it all got too much and we bought a second sofa, got it home and it didn't fit the Matt ended up having a huge row over the phone with my Dad and I got very upset so Tuesday was a waste of a day and I wish it never happened... We were however able to return the sofa thank goodness. But I wish I had slept through Tuesday. But things looked up from there.

We couldn't fit the table I had been given in so we bought a cool one from Argos that folds up and stores 4 chairs in it! We also got two leather foot stools instead of an extra sofa which has made the sofa we have 100x more comfy for lounging on. Working through the piles of boxes made it so hard and I felt like there was no end in sight. 

For over a month we had spent a lot of our free time packing, moving things planning. I knew the end was close but it just felt like it was taking too long. We finally got bits put away but it got to that last 'bit' where you have loads of stuff that you don't really know what to do with. 

I wanted to be finished by Monday, that was the plan but we were done on Wednesday night. I was so pleased and it gave us 4 days to enjoy it! 

Hallway and entrance.

Living Room

What I like to call nerd corner 

Bathroom

Kitchen 

Bedroom

It has been a really odd experience. I have this dreaded feeling of, OH GOD I WANT MY MUM AND DAD.... I am only 15-20 minute drive away but I do feel like I already miss them. When they left I got the same feelings of when they dropped me off at Uni on my own for the first time minus the tears. I think it is scary this is the first time I have lived completely independently, but I am really excited at the same time. 

I am so pleased with the flat we found, and I cannot wait to really get to live in it! I cannot wait for my first weekend after a week of work there too, and of course Christmas I CANNOT WAIT to decorate and make it my own! So Exciting!

Wednesday we went to Crawley and got our first foot stool (which we loved so much we bought a second one) and just finished off the flat! The people I work with were so generous and sent us a card and a gift voucher which I ordered a house phone with and bought a really nice fluffy bath mat! Thursday we had to wait in almost all day as they broadband guys came. The first guy came but couldn't do it and so another person came later in the day and it was fine. There was a a panic for a moment we couldn't get fiber broadband but it was ok! 

Friday we took ourselves off to see Jurassic World (which was AWESOME) had a bit of a day out and off. When then had to go back to Matt's mum's on Saturday to get rid of all the furniture that was left. That was a pretty grim job! But I was glad when it was done because that was LITERALLY the last thing we had to do. It did however suck up almost the WHOLE DAY which meant I really feel like we had 1-2 days off.... alas. But it was worth it because I wouldn't be been able to do all this had we not had time off. 

It also meant that when my family came over to celebrate Fathers day  on Sunday I could relax and enjoy having people over.

I was told at the beginning of all of this that moving is one of the most stressful things you can do and after this week I would inclined to agree. I have made lists and lists of things to sort out and although I took a whole week off of work I do not feel like I had any sort of holiday or time off. UGH! Now I really need a holiday.

So my plans for 2015:

1. Loving myself.
2. Working on my design work
3. Debt,
4. Having my own home!
5. Saving for a holiday!

I am proud to say that I can tick 2 of the list which were some of the bigger items! And I am starting 5 and still working on 1! Maybe if i get time this year I can work on 2 ha ha!

I hope everyone has a fab week and I can't wait to get home, the first trip to my new home. 

Good bye 2014! And a Happy New Year

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, I did even though it was very different!

I haven't been very good with updating this blog in the last half a year! Work has been exceptionally busy and after my Grandpa passing away I don't think I have been much in the mood!

But as I have had rather a lot of time off over Christmas 

(still have 4 more days off woohoo) I thought I would sum up 2014!

This year has had some amazing parts & some shitty parts.Thinking about the amazing parts though!

I have the wardrobe I had dreamed of for such a long time. As I have written before I have never had the confidence to wear what I wanted and I have always felt quite restricted. This year I think was the year I really really changed. I've been really sticking to this since August 2013, and this summer with the gym and healthy eating i pushed myself past my goal weight and I am really proud of myself!

I have made some great friends at work, and I have actually enjoyed my job this year! My first job as a graphic designer I took so I could get experience, lets face it, in no way can you be picky if someone offers you a paid Graphic Design job the minute you leave Uni. It worked in my favor as I really do like my job now and all the people I work with. I have really enjoyed the last month with the Christmas Spirit, Elektra Awards and Christmas party.!

One thing I did which I was really pleased about was selling my designs. At the beginning of the year I had some necklaces made up and they were a bit of a flop. But this Christmas I had my Christmas design printed and I sold over 100 in a week! I was super pleased with myself and this year I think I will invest more in the greeting cards side of things!

I have been so excited though about Christmas coming around this year!

I booked a trip away (1 night) to LongLeat. It was just in a travel lodge and to see the festival of lights, I got an amazing deal on Tesco for Longleat and the hotel was super cheap as I booked it back in September!

The rest of the post is pretty image heavy so see below to continue reading!

Body Confidence my thoughts and myths and facts.

Every summer comes and I dread it. It comes and I know I will be battling through the summer sun in too many clothes because GOD FORBID I didn't not cover up. I would wear leggings and skirt and tops. For years I would have a hoody on and give in when it got too hot and wear a short sleeved one when it got too hot. Last year I braved wearing cardigans instead. I never really enjoyed the freedom that I wish I could enjoy in summer.

I thought that’s it next summer I will lose weight and I will be summer ready (took a few summers ahah). I will be bare legged and just in a t-shirt and it will be amazing. To a BIG surprise to me it didn't happen. I may of lost around 50lbs. I’m 2-3 clothes sizes smaller. I have clothes now that I want and more or less everything I want and the styles I like fit me now! But getting my arms and legs out wasn't an easy transaction as I thought it would be.

I decided I would never be ready to go bare legged and instead focused on my top half. I just started with t-shirts. That is a nice in-between I thought, nice and cool without having all the top of my arms out and the added bonus of not getting horrendously sun burnt again. I started off around the house and little trips like to my Grandma’s and to too the super market. It was harder than I thought and now looking back I don’t know what I was so hung up on it!

I eventually realised no one was looking or staring or poking fun at me, actually no one cared and I started to notice people outside in hoody’s in the heat far more than anyone just wearing a damn t-shirt! I had to wonder if they too were insecure.

Then when we went on holiday I longed to have the holiday feeling, not be cramped up in leggings and what not. So on the first day I braved on some skin coloured tights…. I went to Morrions and to my surprise the world didn't end, no one looked or stared and actually maybe I just had regular legs. SO I decided to have skin coloured legs all holiday. Unfortunately my tights ripped that night and could either do ripped tights or just go o’natural. I did however have some biker style shorts from ASOS and I put them on instead. Matt said there was little difference between them and tights so I went with it! I walked along the beach and it felt amazing! Again no one really looked and the world didn't end and I felt less stupid than when I was down at the seaside in my leggings!

Anyway as I was away and ‘free’ on holiday I was fine and I even found myself wishing for smaller legs but correcting myself into wishing for more confidence. I know that is something I can change, why would I focus on something that I cannot. When it came to doing on the way home and going through lakeside I quickly felt very uncomfortable and changed my mind alas. But it was a big step in the right direction!

So the last few weeks I've been debating how much I want to go bare legged for the summer, how much I loved it on holiday. I don’t really like the layered up effect of leggings and I just want to do it so much. The only thing in my way is in my head! But my head is a powerful thing that gets in the way and stops me doing something. I know that I’m not huge and I know that my legs are just legs and to be honest anyone that doesn't like my legs can go stick it! But it’s easier said than done to get over that.

Finally though yesterday I went to the cinema in my new shorts and today I’m at work with just skin coloured tights on. I’m not that fussed about doing it at work because to be honest I don’t really care what I wear but it’s been a big change in my brain. I think I just need to do these things and prove to myself that nothing bad happens and my brain is over reacting.

Rocking out with my legs out! So comfy when it's hot to go to the cinema in!

It is such a free feeling being happy and comfortable and feeling like I fit in with everyone else. I’m so fed up of planning what I wear based on how I can fit leggings and a cardigan into this outfit. Or thinking no I can’t wear that because it wouldn't work with this or that.

Instead I’ve been chucking on a t-shirt and a skirt and at the moment I seem to be sticking to tights they give me that little ‘safety’ feeling that I think I need.

I thought I would just love myself when I lost weight and in actual fact I needed to work on it and I still am but I’m getting there. These hang up I have had for years and just in the back of my mind being miserable because I bought clothes ‘I thought’ I could wear instead of what I wanted to wear is such an amazing feeling. I really am beginning to feel comfortable with myself and I’m just beaming inside! I feel very settled and not like I’m trying to constantly achieve something.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense it’s something that’s hard to express and something I don’t feel like I want to share with everyone as it is something quite personal. It also give me a lot of pride with the weight loss and also the mental changes I am making. It’s also great to not be focused on ‘when I lose weight I will be able to….’ Instead I’m just being me here and now and although I want to lose a little bit more it’s not the main goal and I realise that is not going to bring me the happiness and comfortable feeling that I have been searching for!

SO the myths of weight loss to me were when you do it, IT WILL BRING YOU HAPPINESS. The fact is that actually you need to work on you and how you see yourself! You need to realise that you are amazing and to be honest with you they are just arms and legs and EVERYONE has them! You can be happy you just have to let go of those insecurities! But again that isn’t something that disappears over night! Baby steps seem to be working well for me... one thing at a time. Now it all seems less terrifying. But through all the hard work it is sooo worth it in the end!

Post Weekend Blues

So it is Thursday and I am officially back at work. I did come back Tuesday but then I had Wednesday off and the day flew by so it was rather pleasant day at work!

But now I am SUFFERING with the come down of a good time. The first time I really felt this was in June/July 2012 when I had my Graduation then I had London Film and Comic Con and then Laura’s hen do and then when it was all over, not only did I get sick but returning to normality sucked asses. Actually to be fair I get it every year throughout January as I pine for Christmas not to be over!

So last week I was counting down the days till Thursday. Actually I would really wish I could turn back the clocks by exactly 1 week. I finished up at 5:30 RAN to the car and speed off to Cineworld in Crawley where we grabbed a maccy d’s and then went to watch War Horse live in the cinemas. It was AMAZING. I was lost for words, the puppets are just mind blowing I feel calling them puppets not doing them justice! You forget they aren’t real and they move just like real horses. I was in floods of tears by the end of first half convinced it was going to end horribly *spoiler alert * but it ended happily and the horse did not die thank god as I think I would of exploded.

I then woke up at 7:20AM!!!! On Friday, I had planned on getting up at 8ish but I was too excited and I made pancakes and bacon because my bacon pancake failed. Looked more like a omelette, although Matt really enjoyed it. I also had some and it was very tasty and then he unwrapped his gifts and was really really pleased with them. Then he had a lovely birthday treat and I took him to the dentist. The dentist was good and bad news. Bad news its going to cost upwards of £800 over the next few months to get his teeth fixed up. Good news is they can save his tooth AND we are going to get everything fixed up before they get really bad. I’m really angry his previous dentist didn’t pick up on any of this.

After that we went home and I got ready and Matt played Titan which came out that morning and then we went and had buffalo for lunch which was lovely. Full rack of ribs, whole chicken, 4 portions of fries and 2 bottomless drinks for £24.95 and then we went around Croydon where I picked up a HEDIOUS cardigan I had mail ordered (that went straight back did not look like it did online) and then tried to find Matt a jacket no luck though.

I had planned on napping but by the time we got home and the fact I hadn’t packed or anything I got a 10-20 nap in and we were meant to leave at 6pm but it was almost 7:30pm by the time we left and headed up to Nottingham. The journey was pleasant and we got to Laura’s around 10:30-11pm. Laura had put up a few birthday banners and a balloon and got matt and cake and some presents and he was really chuffed with them :) I wanted him to realise people do care about his birthday!!

On Saturday we went into town, me and Matt grabbed some pub breakfast and I had to washed my hair in cold water as the hot water had gone off which actually felt like it was burning my head hahah!

We did lots of shopping and I found this gorgeous dress.

I was planning on getting anything but you know when you see it and you JUST KNOW! It was £40 which is the steeper end of what I usually pay for dresses but it was worth every penny and it fit so well too!

I wore it to Annie’s on Sunday and asked Matt to get a nice photo and he got this instead! BAH he is great and getting me when I pull horrible faces!

So then we got home and went to Tesco! We ended up having a late lunch and that filled us up so we bought pizza and garlic bread on the way home and had dinner when Sammi got back. Alas she was working almost all weekend which sucked!

Sunday we woke up and went to a coffee shop for lunch. I won’t lie I paid a lot for a pretty nasty panni and Matt didn’t seem to enjoy his BLT either. Then we enjoyed some sunshine and had a good chat all afternoon and headed off to Annie’s Burger Shack!

I was very excited to see the pancake one was still on there so Matt had that and I went for the mushroom swiss! It was surprisingly quiet in there and we were in and out within an hour. The food was GORGEOUS my only complaint is they had sold out of almost all desserts except one we didn't like. So instead we went to the orange tree and had a cocktail each instead. I've been there 3 times now and I am addicted to the toblerone martini.

We then headed home and cut the cake had some and just chilled out in front of the tv and was nattering for hours again. I planned on leaving at 10-11pm but by the time we packed and kept chatting it was 11:50pm before we left and I really didn’t want to go! I had such a nice weekend I was GUTTED it was over and also I always forget how much I miss Laura.

The drive home was just horrendous. I bought energy drinks but I had to pull over twice it was too much and I was WAY TOO TIRED. We made it back home around 3:30am and I was SO SO happy to see my bed!

Monday Matt wasn’t in a very good mood and we just kinda bummed around. We went out for lunch and I just caught up on food shopping and what not.

Tuesday was back at work, I have to say it flew by I was quite busy with things to catch up on and then when I got home Matt had been very naughty and bought me the bag I had been pinning over for weeks. It’s a BEAUTIFUL Disaster Designs bag and is a little gingerbread house! We actually saw it in a shop in Nottingham. I didn’t know he had ordered it and I was all like OOOH NOOO it’s way too small blah blah blah. However it does fit what I need in it and will be great for days out when I only need my phone and purse, Its actually fairly surprising what you can actually fit in there! But I am very spoilt and its FREAKING ADORABLE and I really really like it!

Wednesday I then had off to have a ‘farewell lunch’ with Matt’s brother as he is off to live in Singapore. We went up to Covent Garden and had a burger then we and Matt made the most of the day and went around London. I found the VOODOO Vixen dress I had been eyeing up in a shop there and was very disappointed when the fit was terrible. I don’t know if it was the dress in general or just the dress on me, but unless I lift my boobs close to my chin it’s all saggy at the top. Most likely for the best as I am SOOO SKINT till Tuesday heheh!

We are then going for a Chinese this evening with Matt’s Dad which should be lovely and then that’s it! As you can see if you actually read the above post I have had a rather hectic week and weekend. I’m gutted it’s all coming to an end and I really have post weekend blues! I need a pick me up to cheer me up!

Hopefully this weekend will be a relaxing one though!!

Makin' pancakes makin' bacon pancakes

So my charms have arrived. I have got them all together and up on my own online shop and onto Etsy too.

I haven’t really had any real interest yet and I have sold 2 to my sister. I was hoping I may have sold a handful by now alas.

But I’m going to keep looking up and hopefully I will sell some soon! Or at least get some interest!

So they are £8 each and they are printed on 1.5inch acrylic! The necklace is 18inch silver plated and so is the hoop. It’s also £1.50 p&p!

Buy them here in the UK

Etsy Shop

I plan on doing some more work soon to add to my library! I will get myself a craft stall somewhere too.

I’m real excited about this weekend too! Only half a day to go and I get a 4 day weekend. Tomorrow I plan to wake up early and attempt Bacon Pancakes for the Birthday BOY!

I'm not sure how these will go but hey ho lets try they look amazing and i'm starving hungry!

 Then he has the dentist alas. I plan on taking him out for lunch later and then leaving him to play his new game that comes out tomorrow. After that we will pack up and head to Nottingham around 6pm to spend the weekend with Laura and Sammi. I have a table booked at Annie’s Burger Shack too!

I then also have Tuesday off now to see Matt’s brother before he goes away to live in Singapore and then Thursday night is Chinese with Matt’s Dad and Julie! I’m going to get real fat bwhaah!

We are also seeing War Horse tonight being streamed from the theatre into the cinema so I am literally counting down the minutes until today is over!

It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything. I haven’t been overly busy but I have a few things to update on.

I will start off with design based updates. Finally I have pulled my finger out my bottom and I have started to get some bits done and I will start with the Paperchase competition.  Now I know Christmas (much to my dismay) is long gone, but this was a competition to design a Christmas Card for 2014!

‘The Paperchase Christmas Card Competition

Designed & Chosen by You

This year we are asking you to remember the best bits of your festivities and take part in our Christmas Design Competition.  For Christmas 2014 we would love a card designed and chosen by you!

Do What?

Design a new charity Christmas card, your design can be funny, emotional, patterned or plain. Just make it festive.

The winning design will be printed and sold in Paperchase stores across the land for Christmas 2014.

Why?

If the joy of taking part isn’t enough...

The winner will receive £200 and a Paperchase goody bag

The winning design will be a used as part of our Charity Christmas Cards range

Imagine the glory of handing out your own professionally produced cards!’

So that is what is was all about. I saw this back at the beginning on January. In true Toria style I of course didn’t get round to starting this until the day before it was due in February. Luckily I had a design from December I was ACHING to put together but never got round to it so I went from there. I ended up being really pleased with the result and although it was the day before I was pleased to submit what I had designed. The final entries were meant to be going up on the 12^th Feb and then the winner announced on the 20^th. As you can guess that has come and gone and no word from Paperchase so that’s kind of annoying. They said they had more entries than planned but still they are taking a rather long time with no update.

Anyway this is my final design.

So I am keeping my eyes peeled for an update.!

Moving on I was rather productive Monday evening. I have been saying I want to have my own little shop and sell necklaces and my designs and such…. I decided to do this is MAY! MAY 2013! I realised that was almost a year ago and I thought SOD IT!

I’m going to do it. So I went home and I ordered my first batch of acrylic charms. I then set up a little shop and I then bought e-mail hosting, ordered business cards and did everything I have been putting off for a year! Now I cannot WAIT for them to come! I’m going to hobby craft this evening to get some equipment for putting them together when they come!

I’m ever so excited. I know it’s a tiny start but at least I have started it now and hopefully I can grow it from here! I plan on getting 2 more designs made if these turn out well maybe at the end of the month!

So that’s that with design. I hope within the next week to 2 weeks I can post up some photos of the charms as necklaces. I really hope they come out nicely!

Moving on to dress related things. So basically I am dress obsessed. I’ve decided a new me this year and new start. New job weight lost! (almost back to the weight I was before Christmas) so I’m going to go with a style I’ve always wanted to indulge in but felt too big and clumsy to wear before. I REALLY believe in loving yourself whatever your size. I follow lots of plus sized blogs and these girls all look fabulous. It’s obviously looking good come through confidence NOT your dress size. What is sad though is I cannot apply this to myself. I still see flaws and I still see so much room for improvement and I WONT look good until the weight is lost. This makes me sad and disappointed in myself.

Anyway moving on.

I will start with my Owl Dress.

I saw this on thecluelessgirl blog. I thought it looked lovely on her! I looked it up on yours clothing and it was £12 in the sale. I was a little unsure on sizing as I’m a 12-14 in dresses and being a plus size store I worried the 14 may of come up a little larger. But I didn’t need to fear it fitted amazing!

The next dress I was strolling through town at lunch time. There was a little dress shop next to Debenhams and I poked my head in. I saw a little pink number with pandas all over it! I squealed a little, worried that it wouldn’t fit as these little shops tend to run up very small, but it fitted well and I was exceptionally pleased. Then I was informed it was only £10 so I ran to a cash machine and snatched it up straight away without hesitation.

  

My last 2 that I am excited about come from Soho’s and they are Hell Bunny dresses. The first one was the last in stock and in my size and they put it up for £5!! A FIVER I guess to clear old stock. I ummmed about it and then pictured wearing it to the beach on a really hot day and I was SOLD!

I’m quite pleased with it and I worried it would be a little short but I think it’s a nice length actually!

The last one is a replacement for the one that didn’t fit. Soho’s did 50% off of sale items and it cost about £17! The one I ordered didn’t fit at all so I changed the style and I am really pleased with this one! It’s a real beaut!

Of course I am pinning after things and currently on my wish list are cropped cardigans which I hope they bring out soon I guess it’s still a little cold for them and these two dresses. In actual fact its possible that the first one MAY come home with me tonight mwuaha

Got some plans this weekend. Had a lovely weekend just gone went to a party and saw friends I hadn’t seen in YEARS AND YEARS! Did lots of dancing and had party food. Of course as always went too quickly.

Now I am dead excited about all my charms and business cards to arrive so I can get them up on my shop asap!