It is exactly 1 year ago today that I lost my Grandpa. I still find it hard to say those words without get teary. I miss, we all miss him a lot and life just isn’t the same without him, not even a little bit.

My Grandma is coping better, I was so worried about her being on her own but I see improvements from her. I just want to mark this sad occasion with some photos that my Mum sent over to me, baby me with my Grandpa. We got through all the firsts this year without him, Christmas, Birthdays, Easter etc and I hope that with each year that comes, it will get easier.

If you want to read the post I made for him you can find it here

Anyway I hope you are proud of me, and I miss you so much....

All burnt out!

I don’t want to start complaining on here and whining and such (reading back through posts from 2013 it was a little cringy) but I want to just get this off my chest.

I AM SO BURNT OUT. Seriously I need a break and a rest. Last year I had 2 weeks off, one in the summer and I spent it away at the seaside and the second was at the end of September and we went to France. Both times we relaxing, it broke the year up and gave me something to focus on and look forward to. This year has been much different.

It’s been amazing and I have achieved what I wanted to achieve! However thinking back over the last year actually it’s been exceptionally stressful and I think it is catching up on me now. So far this year I have had 1 or 2 days off in March for Matt’s birthday (I can’t remember now), I then had 2 days over bank holiday weekend which added up to 5 days off, and finally a whole week off in June. In March it was nice (although I felt pretty unwell alas) but on the time I had off on the May bank holiday I was in full packing mode. We spent 3 days packing like MAD and then one day up in London which I wrote about here. When we went up to London I was actually exhausted. Every weekend was then spent planning packing and sorting. All my free time was spent preparing and mentally planning everything, fretting about the flat and money. To be honest with you for about 2 months I was a wound up coil ready to burst, my stress levels were through the roof. To bring a downer on our trip out too I hurt my back so that day in London was particularly painful too!

The week off in June was to move and as you can imagine that was stressful, by Tuesday me and Matt cracked and HUGE argument happened. It wasn’t until Friday that I felt calmer and more sorted, but even then we had to finish more things over the weekend.

I honestly don’t feel like I have had time off. I have now worked for almost 9 months this year without feeling like I have had any relaxation time. I honestly feel like I am just burnt out. My work in the office is lacking now as my concentration is just non-existent. I am beginning to feel very low in general too, I can feel myself just dragging my ass to work every day and just wishing for a few days of fun and relaxation. I don't feel like 'me' at the moment, but on the few days we have had out over the summer I feel like 'me' is creeping back in!

However, ON TO SOME EXCITING THINGS THOUGH! I have actually booked a week off in October for my birthday, and I found out that Matt has Christmas off again so that really exciting. I am hoping to do our trip away like last year. I now have things to look forward to and no guilt of money to stop me!

Yesterday I finalised and booked some fun for my week off. On the Friday the plan is to get home shower and eat and jump in the car up to Nottingham for a awesome weekend with Laura and Sammi. I’ve booked Annie’s burger and I hope to do a bit of shopping and just hang out. We will most likely drive home Sunday evening and have a good lay in on Monday. 

Then on Wednesday I have booked tickets to see Les Misérables. I saw the movie on Sunday on the TV and it blew me away I have been listening to the soundtrack all week. I am SO excited to see it and we will go up to London have a good poke around, the performance is at 2:30pm and then we will head to Buffalo for dinner on the way home.

Thursday is my birthday and I plan on getting up early and heading to The Harvester for the breakfast buffet. From here I have booked the 12:30pm slot for the Harry Potter Studio Tour! SO excited for that I have wanted to go and see the Hogwarts express since it opened!

I can't wait to take loads of photos, get dressed up and then blog about them!

No plans for the rest of the week yet but I hope to have lots of little trips out and just really enjoy myself and Matt’s company!

I don’t want to be the one to wish the summer away (even though I’m pretty sure it’s long gone, if it actually ever got here) but I am excited for October, I have loads going on this year! 2015 has been pretty uneventful when it comes to actually having days out so I hope October will be exciting!

• Nottingham
• Les Misérables
• Harry Potter
• Jack off Jill
• Tulleys Farm
• NFL football match

So yeah, it would be lovely to have some more sunny weather, but I’m kind of ok if September just disappears. Lots to look forward to, so I need to relax a little and keep stress level to a minimum.

I will end with 2 more exciting things that will hopefully counteract the complaining above.

I won TWO competitions in the last week.

£50 giftcard to spend at Silly Old Sea Dog from the amazing blog Marry Me Ink that I follow!

and then yesterday I won a £25 voucher from Frankie and Benny's! Yaay :D

Have a fabulous rest of the week!

Yoho argggh.... Pirate golf date night.

Me and Matt Saturday, a RARE photo opportunity! 

Yoho yoho! Arrgh me heartys… I went on a date night on Saturday. We were pretty bored and I think Matt was fed up of sitting in doors, so after dinner we decided to scrap the cinema (so no review this week) and head off to Mr Mulligan’s Pirate Island Adventure Golf. It was £10 after 5pm for two people so we thought we would give it a try!

 We had a lot of fun. I have to say I am glad we went in the evening it would have been £17 during the day which I think would have been on the slightly expensive side, but £10 and the fact it was so quiet I think we got a really good deal!

My new pirate buddy!

Unfortunately I lost with 73 and Matt got 66! BOO! There was one hole that took me TEN goes! TEN! I need to brush up on my mini golf skills. The course was nicely looked after and clean, and because of the time of night it was pretty quiet and peaceful.

There was a running pirate theme throughout (obviously being called Pirate island) which meant that there was little rivers of water, sand and two little raft things you had to use to pull yourself across the water!

Sailing on the water!

Of course the ball ended up in the water countless times, and I seemed particularly talented at hitting it off the course! As the holes went on they go trickier and there were some interesting bits to make it harder which I just HAD to do, such as the loopde loop!

Towards the end there was a pirate ship that you got to go in and up on deck which was fun too, the whole experience was pretty interactive!

We ended up having a lovely time together and just being out the house and messing round was lovely! I will definitely be doing this again before the weather turns, it makes a very enjoyable date night! I love evenings like this; it really reminds me why I’ve been with Matt for over 9 years! I think sometimes you do the same thing week in week out and take each other for granted! We ended with some coffee and a cookie in the café and then headed to Tesco afterwards to get Matthew some Pj’s ( I have finally convinced him they are a good idea!)

So yeah I was really pleased with how Saturday ended and I hope to do it again soon! :D

Hope the week flies by and we are back at Saturday in no time at all!

Primark home wishlist!

I went and had a little poke through Primark a few weeks ago and these caught my eye! The shops are all changing and I am loving the idea of some autumnal bedding and house wears. 

Geo Bear Print Duvet Set

Mint Racoon Duvet Set

Gabriella Cat Face Glass Mug

Aren't they just gorgeous! I think when pay day comes around I will be investing in the mint raccoon one if it is still there, and only £13 for a kingsize that isn't too bad at all!

I am quite excited now to make subtle changes to my home for the first time as the seasons change and I am thinking bedding is the way to go with this!

Anyway hopefully I will share a photo with a couple of these in my home soon!

One skirt to rule them all.

New Topshop Denim skirt and H&M wolf shirt

I just LOVE a denim skirt, the versatility that comes with it. You pick it up and put it on and then pretty much pick ANY top out of your wardrobe. It requires very little planning and thinking and they just look good!

I had one that I loved, for years and years. Actually I had been through a few of the same ones I loved them so much! There was my Dorothy Perkins ones and my River Island ones!

Two of my favourite ones that I wore to death.

But alas, the love of my Dorothy Perkins one has had to come to an end. It got to the point where it just wouldn’t stay up, the belts got smaller and smaller and the skirt started to look warped, gathered up and just stupid.

6 stone lighter and my skirt just doesn't fit how it used to!

That was pretty much 2 years ago and I haven’t found a suitable replacement for it and it is something that has hugely annoyed me. I have had quite a few in the last 2 years… ones were too gathered around the hips and ‘poofed’ out others sat too low and were uncomfortable. I had ones that were exceptionally flimsy and just looked like cotton not denim and others they were really thick denim that again they were uncomfortable.

Back at the beginning of the year I got my first Topshop denim skirt, which I briefly wrote about here. I would like to start by saying that over the years I never imagined I would fit into a Topshop denim skirt! So that was a big bonus, but as it is an A-line style with no ‘flippy-ness’ to it I prefer to wear it with tights and bigger baggy jumpers and hoodys, so I was uncomfortable in it for the summer.

I really wanted a light weight, comfy one that was more A-line with the ‘flippy-ness’ I required so I could wear it high waist-ed with shirts tucked in but it would be smooth enough to wear shirts over the top of it too. Sooo not asking for too much. I did actually consider making my own.

Topshop skirt - £25

I then felt like I struck gold and found one on Topshop’s website again and with the success of the skirt at the beginning of the year I wanted to give it a go! Of course it was sold out everywhere and I discovered it stock at Guildford (days before I had, had my first visit to Guildford you can see here, but didn't look in Topshop that day so I was KICKING myself). I didn't know if I wanted a 14 or 16 as the reviews said it came up big so after work Thursday I whizzed over and tried them on. I was right to try both as the 16 was way too big on me, but the 14 fits like a dream.

Tucked in is a winner!

I hear other fashion bloggers referring to the ‘Unicorn’ the un-findable piece and I feel like this is mine and I have finally found it. 

It is denim look, so its actually a stretchy material which means it is super comfy and light for the summer with lots of room to move freely. The length is good too, I find it comfortable and it sits at a nice point on my waist.

The poppers are good too, I had tried on some with the buttons and I found them heavy and annoying, and HEY IT HAS POCKETS what more could you ask for.

I paired it with my new New Look shoes and this beautiful Wolf top from H&M I picked up last week.

Untucked is also a winner!

So I am pretty happy with it and I can’t wait to stop worrying and feeling uncomfortable in my skirts!

A lot of what I used to wear and stick to were all 'safe zone items' for me. Certain things I have left behind such as; lots of black items, hoodys, really baggy items and layers, and these old styles I now avoid as they do not make me feel good. But my Denim Skirts have been a huge part of ‘me’ for so long now and although I have changed the way I dress I am glad I can bring this forward with me in a new way :)

Fantastic flop, wait I mean 'Four'

Let me start by saying I'm a BIG film optimist - I can usually see the good in films, even if they're bad.

Fantastic Four however did not leave me an optimistic bundle of joy when I left the cinema. Luckily I had very low hopes for this film so I’m not 100% sure why I went to see it... Good old Cineworld unlimited card I guess.

Anyway, on to my review of the film - the story starts off as most 'origins' films do, with a very young Reed Richards (Miles Teller) befriending Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell). Richards is your quintessential nerdy outsider who cracks teleportation to and from a parallel dimension (perhaps the same one we see in Avengers: Age of Ultron). Not surprising then that his crude machine is quickly noticed at the school science fair by Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey) and his daughter Sue Storm (Kate Mara), who offer him a prestigious and quite substantial scholarship fund to build it on a grand scale.

Let’s just pause at second: Few early issues here for me; the added storyline of Sue being adopted? I’m not sure why that was added in and I’m still confused as to why... And secondly, how old was Richards? It felt like he was in his twenties, but showing his work at a school fair?... anyway I didn’t get my answer to either question.

Carrying on; they then build the first industrial scale machine with the help of Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), who by the way has his car taken away from him by Daddy for racing and subsequently crashing it. Then there's Victor von Doom (Toby Kebbell), who is living a life in hiding as a result of issues that stem from a previous attempt to build a similar machine... not sure why or what happened but he seemed to have a thing for Sue, but again this story-line was raised but never resolved!

The beginning the film moved at an OK pace, I did note to myself that, although they were covering a lot of ground starting from Richards childhood, they seem to be doing it well... but I was so wrong.

We see Richards working on the real machine and then quite quickly we jump to the machine being finished (the story is now picking up pace), because of the projects success the government decide to handed it over to NASA instead. Feeling let down; Johnny, Richards, and Victor decide to drown their sorrows - angry that they will not get to travel in the machine they built, they decide that a sneaky inter-dimensional trip is in order, and after one quick phone call to Ben, the four of them pop off to the parallel dimension.

Of course things go wrong, I won't ruin the story-line here, but they come back with powers, and on re-entry, Sue is also exposed.

The film really starts to reach a snowballing pace now. Richards disappears and then we join the rest of the friends 1 year on just before all the action happens of fighting the villain of the film.

With the pace at the end of the film just manic, the main event is hurried and crammed into the last 15 minutes of the film, making it feel rushed and overall really messy. As for the characters, they didn't really appeal to me, so I never felt any bond with them. Overall the film felt dull and at no point were there any heart-stopping moments. Despite the young, talented cast, including Academy Award-nominated actor Miles Teller, the acting wasn't great or even believable (well for a superhero film that is) and FYI, Sue's wig was even less realistic.

The film jumps quite unnaturally, is quite jarring to watch and doesn't flow very well at all. It is at times frustrating to watch and with all the unanswered questions (why is Sue adopted? Why does no-one like Victor? Why so many wigs?) it just left me unsatisfied compared to all other Marvel blockbusters.

I wouldn't advise going out of your way to watch this at the cinema!

Catch this review and lots of other film news over at Film Review UK

Weekend exploring new places!

I am always so confused when Monday arrives. I swear only a few hours ago we were excited for the arrival of Friday, yet here we are trudging to the train to start a whole week of work. Especially when I am so desperate for time off and a break, alas only 8 more weeks and I will get my week off darn it!

Anyway this weekend was exceptionally pleasant. Saturday I woke up had breakfast did a bit of washing and hula hooping (yeah I’m getting pretty good at that now!) and while eating lunch looking out the window at the beautiful sunny day I decided it was a waste to spend in doors. I was glad I decided this as it was GLORIOUS outside, I wasn’t aware it was as hot as it was. I picked out my new Sugarhill Boutique dress from a few weekends ago and my new denim jacket and headed to Guilford on the train.

I’ve only been there to go to the cathedral, so I was excited to see what the town was like and I wasn’t at all disappointed.  The train was only £12 for us both with my saver card and less than half an hour, once we got there it was a simple walk to the shops, over a beautiful bridge overlooking the canal, the shops were up a large hill and the streets were cobbled. Although a Saturday afternoon, it was peaceful and enjoyable. Most of the shopping was outside so we enjoyed the sunshine, although my jacket spent all afternoon wrapped round my waist as it was far too hot to wear.

Guildford is a stunning town, it really is! I thoroughly enjoyed it, the atmosphere is lovely and everything is more peaceful and old worldly! Traveling through the countryside on the train to get there and the little cobbled streets and traditional buildings. I was dying to have a good look around the canal and I thought I saw a garden at the end of the street which I wanted to explore.

We did lots of shopping, alas I fell in love with a Cath Kidston skirt and a lovely ring in a small shop but neither had my size. There were more unusual shops compared to any old shopping centre, including Cath Kidston and I just really enjoyed my time there. I wish I had taken some photos.

Matt however started to overheat a little bit and we stopped off at Creams for an Ice Cream. I had 2 scoops - Snickers and Ferrero Rocher. It was far too big but I loved it! Matt was still not feeling 100% so we didn’t look around the canal and gardens instead we headed home. I will defiantly be back though to explore more that is for sure and next time I will make sure to take my camera!

That evening we just went to the cinema and relaxed at home!

Sunday I had to catch up on house stuff and also start some freelance work I had been meaning to do for way too long! I also had to pop to town to run a few errands the main one was to buy bread. I did buy bread and some other important things, but I also accidentally came back with these beauties’! 

 New Look £10

I saw them in New Look reduced to £10 and I’ve been trying to find some new shoes that are more supportive and better for walking in than my Primark ballet pumps. I kind of pulled a face but thought well let me see and I tried them on. I was shocked when I thought how lovely they looked on and I started to walk home and had to turn around and go back to pick them up they were too much of a bargain to miss!

I thought they would be great in the summer if the weather is a little off, and a good way to start to introduce myself into wearing my Dr Martins in the autumn! 

So that is one thing that is cheering me up on this Monday, my shiny new shoes!

I hope your Monday is well, and I hope the next weekend comes around even quicker than the last!

Sales, sales everywhere!

I have one big item on my radar at the moment and it is this BEAUTY

Cath Kidson Dress - £65

It's a skater dress, it's blue and it's covered in Penguins HOW ON EARTH could it get any better? The only problem is they only have a 12 and I'm usually a 14 but a review does say it runs large and the other problem is £65 is pretty steep for me at the moment!

I also got some sale bits that I wanted to share. Have you noticed that the sales have gone mental at the moment? Even Super Dry have a sale on and a pretty decent one, I’ve never seen them have a sale.

Bag - Topshop £14 reduced to £8

Scarf - Accessorize £12 reduced to £6  

Dress - Yumi (House of Fraser)- £45 reduced to £13.50

Denim Jacket - Super Dry £59.99 reduced to £29.99

So Last night we wizzed to Lakeside, it’s been a LONGLONG time since we went there after work for a shop and I spent some money on some real bargains.

I was super pleased with the denim jacket though. I mean half price thank you very much. I do have a denim jacket but I have been quite disappointed with it. It was fairly cheap, the button jangle and the fit isn’t great and since I have bought it, it has gotten bigger and bigger on me and when I wore it with my dresses last summer the lack of shape and fitting meant it just looked unflattering and clumsy.

This however is a ‘Slim’ jacket, although still a little large (I would of liked to try on a medium but Large was all the had left) it is more fitted and shaped so I am not left with a gaping jacket. The little floral embroidery adds a really girly touch too. I am very happy, only downside is the pockets are fake! But I felt like it was such a lovely jacket and a fantastic price I couldn't say no!

Anyhow, tomorrow is Friday and I cannot wait for the weekend.

No plans as such but I will be seeing Fantastic Four!

The happy happy happy post

I just wanted to write an update. This Saturday will be 8 weeks in our new flat; this had probably been the biggest change and leap I have taken in my life so far.

So my new year’s resolution goals were:

Loving myself.

My confidence is non-existent. I still feel exactly as I did 2 years ago before I lost weight. I put myself down and hold myself back because I feel down about my appearance. I don’t like photos of myself because I look so much smaller in them than what I see in the mirror. And this is sad and not right and I need to work on this mentally. I want to just be happy…. I want to just feel like a million dollars every day and I know it will be hard because I got confidence boosts from losing weight. Now I need to find it within myself.

I am REALLY trying to work on this at the moment! Like seriously trying. I don’t want to constituently worry about people judging me, worry about what people think about me. I want to wear whatever makes me happy and MAKES ME FEEL AMAZING without giving a toss what others think. I know deep down that people probably aren’t laughing and when I wear a skirt that makes me nervous I am always amazed that no one stares and no one comments, so I realise I build this up massively in my head. I need to get away from that!

Working on my design work

I want to work on some new designs and get perhaps some more greetings card made up and sold. This is something I want to work on but there are a few bigger things I want to concentrate on this year and that I will have to save my money up for!

LIES, I haven’t done this and at the moment I am SO UN MOTIVATED…. Oh well there is always 2016 or I guess there is another 4+ months in the year.

Debt,

this is my next big one. I have paid off around £6,000 last year and a bit the year before. I have just over £3,000 to go and I already have about a quarter to towards this! Once we have paid all this off we will be on track to moving out, which is my next big thing.

Done and done again. Adjusting to a life without debt is weird. I have spent a year saving and saving and saving. I am so used to considering every purchase I make and making sure I can justify it and afford it. I am trying to relax now a bit but still be in control and sensible. It is finding a balance in-between the two extremes I’ve lived in.

Having my own home!

We have been working on moving out for the last few years and 2014 we were really focused. We can afford to move but I want to do it debt free so I am going to pay all my debt off and save enough money to pay for my deposit. I have started collecting bits in the sales (bought all my Christmas decorations haha priorities first huh?).

This is done and I am so pleased. This is what I really wanted to update on. 

The freedom that has come with living on our own is amazing. I feel so relaxed and content and I really look forward to spending time at home. I was worried how easy or hard it would be to maintain and keep the flat clean and tidy. It has actually been surprisingly easier than I thought. There is part of me that is house proud now and I want to live in an environment that is neat and tidy and clean. I don’t want things to build up and become hordes of clutter like it did in Matt’s room.

I am enjoying having large spaces too, I love that fact we have a living space and a bedroom. I think I sleep better now as we lived and slept in Matt’s room. With no TV on in the background it makes falling asleep easier plus having a bed that isn’t falling apart and is supportive and comfortable.

It is nice to sit on a sofa too and enjoy the TV and my laptop! Rather than slumped in bed and weekends are really pleasant as I get up make breakfast and then go and live in the living room. Before I would get up make breakfast eat in bed, make lunch eat in bed and being stuck in that one room would become very suffocating at times and DAMN right boring.

Matt and I seem to be doing well together. There seems to be less everyday stress and we are relaxing more. He is doing more to help me with chores which is really nice and I just feel really happy and content at the moment.

I am so happy with the flat we picked. The price and location is great and the space inside the flat is amazing. Things like the fitted wardrobes are a massive added bonus to me! There is actually room to organise and sort my clothes now. No more keeping them in bags and boxes to keep mold out!

I am very much hoping we will be there for a good few years if not more! I can't wait for the autumn now. I have loads planned for October including my first holiday (time off) in the new flat. Although I had a week off to move I need a break to just rest, no stress just enjoy myself. I plan to go to Nottingham and spend a weekend with Laura. Then Harry Potter studios on my Birthday. Later in the month I am seeing Jack off Jill, going to Tulley's farm and then the NFL football tickets I bought Matt for his birthday! So loads of things to look forward too.

I cannot wait to have my first Christmas in my flat too. I am so excited to decorate and just make the place mine! 

2015 is defiantly the year for me, life is actually going to plan at the moment and I hope that the rest of the year gets even better.

Two more things I am very pleased with that I will add to the end of this post!

I also am VERY happy to say I finally have a new computer. Mine died again when we moved and I thought it was a problem with the charger. I tested it last week with another charger and alas it won't charge anymore. It is so beat up and broken that Matt SO KINDLY offered to put money towards me getting a new one. I am exceptionally lucky to have him and I am really happy to have a full functioning laptop again! I am hoping to update this blog a bit more now!

I was also exceptionally chuffed regarding an old coat that’s actually probably still a new coat.

2 years ago I bought a new coat that I saw on the hanger and just fell in love with it! It was gorgeous and had loads and loads of fur and the lining with silky and had a bow print. I actually wrote about it briefly here It ended up being a real kafuffle as I bought a 12 but it was far too small, I then exchanged but they had none in store so I ordered it online, and they sent me tracksuit bottoms??? By the time I sent them back they sold out online and it took a drive to Kingston one Sunday for me to get a 14. I however again didn’t wear it much as it was still too tight across my back and the whole thing was rather fitted.

I’ve almost gotten rid of it quite a few times, but I thought I’d have a look this year and I tried it on this weekend and HEY IT NOW FITS and it fits well. I am so pleased as I love it and that why I’ve been unable to get rid of it. 

Anyway super excited to wear it again! I am hoping however that the summer actually comes and we don’t go straight into winter!

I hope your week is full of amazing things.