I just wanted to write an update. This Saturday will be 8
weeks in our new flat; this had probably been the biggest change and leap I
have taken in my life so far.
So my new year’s resolution goals were:
Loving myself.
My confidence is non-existent. I still feel exactly as I did
2 years ago before I lost weight. I put myself down and hold myself back
because I feel down about my appearance. I don’t like photos of myself because
I look so much smaller in them than what I see in the mirror. And this is sad
and not right and I need to work on this mentally. I want to just be happy…. I
want to just feel like a million dollars every day and I know it will be hard
because I got confidence boosts from losing weight. Now I need to find it
within myself.
I am REALLY trying to work on this at the moment! Like seriously
trying. I don’t want to constituently worry about people judging me, worry
about what people think about me. I want to wear whatever makes me happy and
MAKES ME FEEL AMAZING without giving a toss what others think. I know deep down
that people probably aren’t laughing and when I wear a skirt that makes me
nervous I am always amazed that no one stares and no one comments, so I realise
I build this up massively in my head. I need to get away from that!
Working on my design work
I want to work on some new designs and get perhaps some more
greetings card made up and sold. This is something I want to work on but there
are a few bigger things I want to concentrate on this year and that I will have
to save my money up for!
LIES, I haven’t done this and at the moment I am SO UN
MOTIVATED…. Oh well there is always 2016 or I guess there is another 4+ months
in the year.
Debt,
this is my next big one. I have paid off around £6,000 last
year and a bit the year before. I have just over £3,000 to go and I already
have about a quarter to towards this! Once we have paid all this off we will be
on track to moving out, which is my next big thing.
Done and done again. Adjusting to a life without debt is
weird. I have spent a year saving and saving and saving. I am so used to
considering every purchase I make and making sure I can justify it and afford
it. I am trying to relax now a bit but still be in control and sensible. It is
finding a balance in-between the two extremes I’ve lived in.
Having my own home!
We have been working on moving out for the last few years
and 2014 we were really focused. We can afford to move but I want to do it debt
free so I am going to pay all my debt off and save enough money to pay for my
deposit. I have started collecting bits in the sales (bought all my Christmas
decorations haha priorities first huh?).
This is done and I am so pleased. This is what I really
wanted to update on.
The freedom that has come with living on our own is amazing.
I feel so relaxed and content and I really look forward to spending time at
home. I was worried how easy or hard it would be to maintain and keep the flat
clean and tidy. It has actually been surprisingly easier than I thought. There
is part of me that is house proud now and I want to live in an environment that
is neat and tidy and clean. I don’t want things to build up and become hordes
of clutter like it did in Matt’s room.
I am enjoying having large spaces too, I love that fact we
have a living space and a bedroom. I think I sleep better now as we lived and
slept in Matt’s room. With no TV on in the background it makes falling asleep
easier plus having a bed that isn’t falling apart and is supportive and
comfortable.
It is nice to sit on a sofa too and enjoy the TV and my
laptop! Rather than slumped in bed and weekends are really pleasant as I get up
make breakfast and then go and live in the living room. Before I would get up
make breakfast eat in bed, make lunch eat in bed and being stuck in that one
room would become very suffocating at times and DAMN right boring.
Matt and I seem to be doing well together. There seems to be
less everyday stress and we are relaxing more. He is doing more to help me with
chores which is really nice and I just feel really happy and content at the
moment.
I am so happy with the flat we picked. The price and
location is great and the space inside the flat is amazing. Things like the fitted
wardrobes are a massive added bonus to me! There is actually room to organise and sort my clothes now. No more keeping them in bags and boxes to keep mold
out!
I am very much hoping we will be there for a good few years
if not more! I can't wait for the autumn now. I have loads planned for October including my first holiday (time off) in the new flat. Although I had a week off to move I need a break to just rest, no stress just enjoy myself. I plan to go to Nottingham and spend a weekend with Laura. Then Harry Potter studios on my Birthday. Later in the month I am seeing Jack off Jill, going to Tulley's farm and then the NFL football tickets I bought Matt for his birthday! So loads of things to look forward too.
I cannot wait to have my first Christmas in my flat too. I am so excited to decorate and just make the place mine!
2015 is defiantly the year for me, life is actually going to plan at the moment and I hope that the rest of the year gets even better.
Two more things I am very pleased with that I will add to the end of this post!
I also am VERY happy to say I finally have a new computer. Mine died again when we moved and I thought it was a problem with the charger. I tested it last week with another charger and alas it won't charge anymore. It is so beat up and broken that Matt SO KINDLY offered to put money towards me getting a new one. I am exceptionally lucky to have him and I am really happy to have a full functioning laptop again! I am hoping to update this blog a bit more now!
I was also exceptionally chuffed regarding an old coat that’s actually probably still a new coat.
2 years ago I bought a new coat that I saw on the hanger and just fell in love with it! It was gorgeous and had loads and loads of fur and the lining with silky and had a bow print. I actually wrote about it briefly here It ended up being a real kafuffle as I bought a 12 but it was far too small, I then exchanged but they had none in store so I ordered it online, and they sent me tracksuit bottoms??? By the time I sent them back they sold out online and it took a drive to Kingston one Sunday for me to get a 14. I however again didn’t wear it much as it was still too tight across my back and the whole thing was rather fitted.
I’ve almost gotten rid of it quite a few times, but I thought I’d have a look this year and I tried it on this weekend and HEY IT NOW FITS and it fits well. I am so pleased as I love it and that why I’ve been unable to get rid of it.
Anyway super excited to wear it again! I am hoping however that the summer actually comes and we don’t go straight into winter!
I hope your week is full of amazing things.
