Last week was awful

Ok so I am doing an update for the worst week I’ve had in a very very long time!

So I posted a little about Matt not wanting to marry me or anything which still truly breaks my heart. Then I asked my Mum and Dad to get me a loan as I wasn’t approved for one AGAIN. They pretty much spent a few days having a go at me and shit, which was not appreciated. They took it way too hard and freaked the fuck out. My mum claimed she couldn’t sleep and ugh I wish I hadn't bothered. Then they sat down on Saturday and added it all up for me which I have already done so that fucked me off and came to the conclusion I could just save up £800-£1000 a month and pay it off in around 7 months. That is not what I wanted to do. I wanted a loan ffs. I have things like tyres and car insurance and shit to get before then and Matt’s birthday. So by the time I have saved up to pay that shit off and saved up money for a flat it will most likely be 2014. So that’s another fucking year stuck in Matt’s bedroom. Ugh kill me now.

Then to end my fantastic week snow came (this excited me) then the woman in charge here told me to pretty much get advice on what to wear at work. This made me sob and she doesn't seem to realise that it was hurtful the way she said it and singled me out. She says she didn't but she bloody did when she did it in front of people and I had NO IDEA that she wasn’t happy with the way people are dressing at work. If she had called me in alone and said your dresses are lovely but maybe little short for work I would have been like ok. But instead she belittled me and patronised me and ultimately humiliated me and she made me get so upset. Ass.

So I went out Saturday (did order a dress on tesco but it was cancelled as it sold out) and got a few tops from Primark and a skirt from Marks and Spencers. I hate it all. I feel terrible in it! I think it will motivate me to eat healthier cause I don’t wanna go buy more things to wear just because I feel uncomfortable. It’s Monday and a New Year and its better late than never. I have kinda started my healthy eating but I keep falling off the wagon. But now I WILL NOT! I will do this I swear. I want to do it for the summer!

So anyway I am job hunting like crazy as I really wanna get something that’s either closer to home or better pay and not here. Then I can really start to save towards my goal of paying off my debts.!

Le sigh.

I’m so frustrated. I want to start my life. Marriage, my own flat and getting rid of these massive debts that I have run up. These are the road blocks that I face. Matt doesn’t want to marry me. He says he wants to stay with me but this will be it now. No future no husband no kids. No one will give me a loan to consolidate my debt so I just keep paying large amounts of interest on all my debts but pay nothing off. And then I just can’t seem to afford a flat. I don’t even have any money behind me. I am going to start saving now. I started last week but I haven’t done amazingly at it. But from this day onwards I will only be spending money I have to spend. I would like to put AT LEAST £300-£500 a month away. It will be hard but I think I can do it. I worked out WE HAVE TO SPEND around £950 a month. Between me and Matt at the moment we earn £2,200ish possibly a bit more. That is £1,200ish a month that we spend of crap. That’s food and going out and clothes etc. If I did manage to put £300-£500 a month away I could pay at least half of this crap off in around 4 months…. And then in the next 6 months perhaps I could look at moving out maybe? I hope so anyway. I wish I would of started saving back in August but oh well lesson learnt again.

I guess with Christmas coming I have just enjoyed having money and not having to scrimp and save every bloody penny.

I must waste so much money of food too. £44 this week got me a week of food, lunch, breakfast and dinners. I then have wasted around £20 on two take aways. I dunno why I keep doing it. I have been good though. I sent back that bag and bought a new one for £6 instead of £50 and I’m not going to buy the Unicorn dress I want…. Because let’s face it I have 101 dresses and I never get to wear 90% of them (excluding the ones for work, but I don’t enjoy wearing them as I am usually going to work) and ok I only have a few dress I like to ‘go out’ in, I only go out about once a year so that doesn’t really matter. Cinema and shopping evenings I will put a stop to. Now and again will be ok but, only now and then. I will maybe buy some popcorn and 65p drink from tesco and watch films with Matt. That would cost around £1-£3 rather than £10-£30! That’s a pretty massive saving! And if I do that loads I could easily save money! I’m sure of it!

So Yeah I’m feeling pretty flat at the moment. I want everything to be better, but instead I have FUCKED my future up at the moment.

Today at work has been pretty shit. I haven’t really had much to do the last week and it makes the days go so slowly. I wish I was busy all the time. I would really rather be busy busy than spending large portions of my days doing nothing or trying to find things to do.!

Anyway there is only 25 minutes left (of just over) of the day I can’t wait to get home. Well I can, I just like sitting on my own at the moment, so I can’t wait to sit alone in my car for 45 mins on the way home.

I’m not feeling great right now and I’m pretty heart broken :(

Many bargains

Ok so we are a week or just over into 2013. My healthy eating has gone a bit shit. But after getting on the scales and seeing I put on like 10lbs it seems to have kicked me in the butt. I kinda hope I’m still a bit bloated from xmas cause THAT IS A LOT to put on. Bah. So the last 2 days I have been starving hungry all day but hopefully that will get better as time goes on.

I have also done some MATHS and worked out that a flat at £700 a month would be a lot of monies >.< THUS I have decided to start saving up money to start paying off my debt as I owe WAY TOO much money and this making a problem for me being able to afford things and stuffs. SO I HAVE PLEDGED NOT TO BUY ANYTHING! Although I was little naughty at lunch as I bought a new dress for work…. Although I don’t count this too much as it is for work and I really did need some new work clothes! Plus is was £28 reduced to £10 WOOOPIIE.

However in the last week I have bought 4 dresses that have cost me a total of £44 and £22 was spent on a gift card that I got for Christmas. In total they should of cost me £143 so I saved £99 :o I’m so chuffed with them.

Dorothy Perkins - £35 to £7

 Oasis- £48 to £12

Fusion - £28 to £10

Dorothy Perkins -  £32 to £15

I’m so pleased with them as they are all nice too! They aren’t what I would usually buy, but they are great and perfect for work and would be great if/when I get a new job and I might have to dress a little smarter than what I have to wear now.

I was also naughty and bought this bag…. It was expensive at £49.99 and I CANNOT DECIDE IF I WANT TO KEEP IT OR NOT! D:

It’s cute and by crowded teeth and Loungefly.

However I can’t decide if I love it or hate it! Is it super cute? Or kinda ugly? i just can't decide BAAAH!

Today i feel awful, the last hour or so i have such a bad headache and I'm SOOOOO VERY HUNGRY! 

Anyway its nearly home time thank god and tomorrow is Friday YAAY!

Happy New Year one and all.

Ok so I am back at work. I haven’t updated in a while but I thought I would do my last post of 2012 as it is News Year’s Eve. I have no plans really, I am going to get a fairly early night with Matt tonight so we can get up early and go into London to go to the zoo and to Forbidden Planet. It should be great. We never really fancy doing anything NYE so we thought we would enjoy our day off together tomorrow as we are both at work today and I’m already tired and it’s only midday. I am starving hungry already bah. So we are planning on getting in and having a takeaway and curling up in bed. Then I will get ready fairly early tomorrow and venture into the London and go to the Zoo as the weather is meant to be nice. Sunny but cold and the best part NO BLOODY RAIN! Hurray.

I was so excited to have time off over Christmas, I ended up having Christmas Eve off so I had 9 days in a row off and it went so bloody quickly, I am not impressed. It was nice though even though it didn’t feel like Christmas at all. I guess all my life so far has involved me being in education over Christmas, so it was the first year that I didn’t break up for the Christmas holidays, instead I worked all the way up until the 21^st booo.

So anyway Saturday I cleaned ALL BLOODY DAY! And then went out for Chinese food with Matt and his Dad and that was lovely. Then Sunday was pub day with Gem and we exchanged gifts and Monday I went to see Laura for the afternoon.

And then of course it was Christmas day. I was up pretty early and unwrapped gifts at Matt’s and then unwrapped gifts at home.

I got some pretty cool stuff for Christmas.

UNICORN

Farsacpe Boxset

Star Trek Boxset

Rocketdog boots

Penguin hat and necklace

Benefit make up

Nail Varnish

Mustachio monster

Tiny Labbit

Panda Watch

Rocket Dog Boots

And lots of cool stuffs!

I also got a amazon gift cards and a Wallis one. I decided to invest in some black and white simple Vans and the weather at the moment isn't full on boot weather but it isn't dolly shoe weather either.

I wanted so Vans that were Lo Pro because I have a horrible habit of tripping up a lot on the ones with very thick soles and they feel a bit chunky on my feet! Anyway my friend has the plain black and white spot ones and I saw these and feel in LOVE!

They have stars on them and I LOVE things with star patterns, makes me very happeth!

I am really hoping they MIGHT come today as I ordered them on Friday but its doubtful with the bank holiday and that. But if they do I AM WEARING THEM TO THE ZOO TOMORROW. I might even be sneaking and see if i could get away with wearing them to work bwahah.  

After doing all the family mumbojumbo, I went out to Brighton with Matt on Thursday. We were worried with all this awful weather it would be a wash out but it turned out to be a lovely day. The sun even came out for us and it stayed dry! I went to the sales a couple of times last week but it was all a bit crappy. In Brighton however there was a fox necklace that was £27 down to £15 so I snapped that up.

It's such a cute little necklace I love it! and it's really bright vibrant colours so it stands out against my clothes which i like!

We had a LOVELY lunch too at our favorite pub and then went shopping and the Pier was open so we were happy and Matt won me an Omnom toy to go with my other one at home and I ACTUALLY managed to win him an android toy. I was very excited about winning it!

So I haven't managed to get any bargains really in the shops, but I did find my vans cheap and some Iron Fist sun glasses reduced from £25 to £6 BARGAIN and they are really cute too. I love the colours a lot!

So i get to finish at 4:30 today yaay! which is just over an hour away..... (I started writing this at midday and its taken me a while ahah)

Today has not been productive. But hey ho!

Thank god it's Friday..... UGH

So this was the week that I had been counting down the days until. AND NOW ITS OVER *weep*

It’s been a weird week, and I don’t deal with change and weirdness very well at all. Booo. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. So the plan was as follows, leave early Tuesday and see Mumford and Sons. Then wake up around 10am and gets Matts haircut and see the Doctor and generally potter around and then Thursday chill out and go to the hotel for around 2:30-3pm and get ready slowly and go the work Christmas party.

That did not really go to plan. So on Tuesday I got an e-mail from Kaplan international college about a job interview. Some of it involved designing books for children’s educational books which I was like ahhh I want to do that. So they rearranged the interview for the Thursday from the Friday and I had to be there at 10am. To be honest I really didn’t fancy going and I wasn’t sure about it at all but I thought, I REALLY have to give this a go otherwise I might regret it! I have to admit it wasn’t what I thought it would be like at all! It was really REALLY fancy like a proper high-class London job. Although I thought it was going to be a bit weird and dull it’s actually turned out to seem very exciting and manic it doesn’t overly appeal to me at the moment. It seems too fast paced and too manic and traveling to central London everyday just gives me a headache thinking about it. So I’m waiting to hear from them but I don’t think it is something I would want to do. But I think it was better to go and see than sit there forever thinking, ‘what if I had gone’. Then on the way home I had a voice mail about a job closer to home that pay up £25,000 a year :O WHOA! And they found me I didn't even apply! I really hope I can arrange an interview for there, it sounds good, although I am torn as I do like my job here and I really love the people! But I do like the sound of the one closer to home and it could be up to £7,000 more a year which could get me a flat! So I am hoping to hear from them!

So yeah that meant I was up at 7am and on a train into London at 8am UGH! No lay in for me. and I was still tired from the day before after seeing Mumford and Sons. Alas…. So anyway we then went around London a bit after the interview, headed home and grabbed some lunch and headed down to Horsham. By the time we got there and I popped to get some bits for the night I had like an hour to get ready. It was a lovely night though even though I wanted a peaceful and relaxing time I did have fun! And obviously it was really lovely to spend time with Matt.

I am now back at work today. As I was already in Horsham me and Matt got Breakfast and I was in the office by 8:30am! Most people didn't come in till 9-10am but it means I can go home at 5pm today rather than like 5:30 so that should be really nice!

HOWEVER I haven't even spoken about Mumford and Sons yet!

My friend managed to get this awesome picture of me 'rocking out' with my banjo. I bought 4 inflatable ones for the gig! LOVE IT! They played amazingly and they got the whole arena going and singing and dancing. I enjoyed every single song and Marcus is just exceptionally cute! 

The place went CRAZY when they did Lion Man and I was so happy they played Winter Winds as that is my favorite song!

Outside however the temperature had dropped to -4 and this thick fog had spread everywhere. It hurt to breathe in as it was SO SO ICY COLD! Although  I like that as it makes me feel all christmassy!

I found some pretty cool videos from the night on YouTube so they aren't mine but they are really good and have the cute bit where Marcus's button on his shirts keeps coming undone.

Speaking of Christmas too I can't wait to paint my nails glitter red (I paint them this colour all through December but I wore a pink dress last night so I had to take it off) tonight BECAUSE I GOT NAIL STICKERS!! Christmas ones! On eBay they were £1.40 and they have reindeers and snowflakes. They came yesterday and I have been DYING to try them! I am super excited!

I attempted candy cane nails last week! I love doing christmasy things!

I was pretty pleased with them. Last year I tried to do all my nails like that, but it got kinda messy so I just did the one! I am so happy it is Friday and I have two days off because I feel like death at the moment! I hope the afternoon goes really quickly because I don't have very much/nothing to do all afternoon. BOOOOO. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET 5o'clock come as quickly as possible so I may SLEEP!

Ma coat related rant.

I am really quite annoyed tbh. That coat from ASOS that I fell In love with has been nothing but a disappointment. The lining has again split. For some bizarre reason it also makes my left arm unbearably painful that when I have been out I have been forced to take the bloody thing off. Seriously my arms today after wearing all day yesterday and my left shoulder are killing me. I guess it just doesn’t fit right which is really bloody annoying.

It really is such a shame. I really really loved it! D:

I have found one in TopShop, but I may leave it and just wear my one from last year as I’m not 100% sure about the TopShop one and if I leave it a month or few weeks they will probably put it in the sale!

Plus the TopShop one is £75 and is more of a jacket than a coat. Poooo. Why the first year that I have money can I not find a coat that I truly love! Boo hiss.

The one from last year though is pretty new tbh. I only wore it a handful of times. It was £85 and I got it in the sale for £36 and I have vouchers as it was just after Christmas. Its lovely and really practical. Machine washable (I think) long, warm, has ties inside and a MASSIVE HOOD! Really everything you would want and need in a coat. FUCK IT I will just use that!

The Asos one is defiantly going back. I am so disappointed in it boo hisss. I kept saying I WILL LOSE 2 STONE AND IT WILL FIT. But it might not as its tight on my back and arms! And what if I don’t lose weight esp with Christmas coming up! Not a great time of the year to lose 2 stone.

Now my silly coat related rant is over it is now FRIDAY WOOO! And the weekend should be a calm one, I have very little planned which is the way I like it now a days! Just a bit of pub times and some cleaning! WOOO exciting!.

However there are still 20 minutes left of today that I have to get through that I DON’T WANT TO DO UGH!

On a plus side I have work Monday then a half day on Tuesday where I will be seeing Mumford and Sons WOOOOO and THEN AND THEN TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF and the Christmas party on the Thursday! Then it will be so SO close to Christmas I could poop with excitement!

Anyhoo I has to pee now and I should do some work that I am paid to do. My concentration on a Friday afternoon is so shit!

Onwards and upwards BRING ON THE WEEKEND!

Toria gets some fancy Make-Up

Ok so it is Monday again. BOOOOHOOOO. The weekend come and goes so bloody quickly it makes me sick. Alas. Although I am excited for this time next week because I will be doing Monday then a half day then TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF. Then I come back on Friday and then I work another week and one day and its then CHRISTAMAS. Where I have a total of 7 days off would have been 8 but I was kind and offered to work NY eve so no one else had to do it. BLAH! Ahhh well it’s only one day then Tuesday I have off and then its only 3 days until the weekend again HURRAH!

Not tomorrow but the following Tuesday I will be seeing Mumford and sons. Eeep. I wam dead excited. I can’t wait; I love that band sooo damn much! Seriously! It has come around so SO insanely quickly too!

My new coat caused me some issues last week. I put my hand through the arm hole on Wednesday ready to go out for Lunch and all the lining inside had split. I was NOT impressed at all. I quickly had to borrow money to buy a new one as they were in the sale for £56 rather than the £70 I paid (yes this also pissed me off) So I ordered a new one, (last one in my size in stock) and it came Friday and I sent the broken one back on Saturday so I am hoping £70 will appear in my account by the end of the week. I hope so anyway! On the plus side I felt that the left arm was a little squiffy and was shorter than the right arm and now that isn’t an issue on the new coat. Still is making my left arm really hurt but hey ho  :(

I did however have a pretty lovely weekend. My granddad hasn’t been that well for a while and had a bad turn a week or so ago. So my Grandma hasn’t really been able to get out the house much and she needed a few bits from Croydon and I offered to take her in. She said we could look for some make up for me (as that is what she was getting) and she would treat me. I wasn’t sure about it but I tried Benefit and I LOVED IT! Then my Grandma was pretty much like we will take it all thanks. It came to £99 -£20ish for her makeup brush she wanted too! I nearly passed out. I felt awful taking that much money off my Grandmother but she insisted and I really really do love the make-up I picked.

So I got a foundation, foundation brush, Primer and a blusher. They smell sooo good too >.<

My face is a little scary in that photo but my skin looks really nice. My Grandma kept telling all the ladies at the counters that she was with her granddaughter and she seemed to really enjoy the day out. I really enjoyed it too :D

My eating healthy was going well until I stuffed my face last night with pizza D: I lost 2lbs last week and I was really excited. But I will start again today and carry on. Hopefully I won’t go crazy and order Dominos at 9pm at night. Although I now I have £10 credit on my account to get a free pizza as they fucked up my order. That will be hard to resist! 

Anyway it is nearly lunchtime now which is good as I am STARVING HUNGRY! And then I can start counting down the hours till home time which cannot come soon enough!